What Community? #88: Texas in my necklace

Stephen Jackson, no beat, doubtfully fresh no rehearsal. Defo no homo. --RWK [via Shoals]

Considerable linear extent in space #7: Not exactly

How low is that hoop? Woody is not long, but very white. Somehow he lays a brown lady in this movie. And somehow, through the magic of movies, he jumps. I will never dunk and I'm okay with that. --RWK [via]

Encounter #138: Unheard of.

I'm pretty tired of white people talking about Wayne (as I know Cuy is as well) but allow me this: Wayne knows some hoops. He drops some names you probably don't even want to pay attention to, like Spencer Hawes, noted seven-foot Pacific Northwest redneck Republican. Also, it's unclear who his "we"s refer to, even though "we" all know he's from Nola, not Sacto, and I'm sure he drinks clear alcohol with CP3. He's a genuine weirdo. Related: Maybe my horned rim glasses (yup) should be bigger? --RWK [via]

Considerable linear extent in space #6: I like number four

I hate to do this to you, and turn this failed attempt at a column into a Kobe highlight reel all the time, but well, here's some more amazing: via BDL, the top ten Kobe plays so far in the 08-09 season. Number four came in that 61-point game, and it was my favorite move of the night. It remains my favorite of all the feats here. It's just smart. And slick. Those 360s and behind the backs are pretty dope, too, tho... --RWK

What Community? #83: Detlef'n'Dennis

Wut a hug. Remember when the NBA was more, um, colorful? --RWK

Terrible Marketing #49: Chris Quinn is HARD

I'm sorry. --RWK

What Community? #80: Enough, people. A redundant rant.

[Still fucking huge.]
Baseball just does not know how to regulate its image with any kind of smarts. Why is everybody involved in that sport so fucking righteous and obnoxious? Even when A-Rod talks with candor about his shit, people get riled up to say he's the devil. Granted, I've not read all that much about this, but, shit. He said it was a "loosey-goosey" time. And boy was it lucrative. Why do people play into these roles? Of course it's absurd how much money he makes! He can do things that few other humans can. Same with Bonds. And, again: that shit was tight to watch! Turning a blind eye and smirking is disingenuous but it's not the end of the world. All this backtreading hoopla involving the Senate and all that crap is worse, somehow, because all it is, at bottom, is a way for some assholes to feel better about being assholes to other assholes whose daily summer performances make them less asshole-y and more god-like than the real humans they are, which, in turn, makes us assholes feel less asshole-y and, if we're lucky, lifted by the sight of something beyond us, beyond our capabilities and our stations. I mean, yes, it's annoying that these dudes "cheated," I guess, but it's not like either A-Rod or Bonds got a ring out of the deal. Goes to show that MLB can't spin anything into positivity in the end. Cuz, honestly, when it comes to Giambi, who was doping when he was smashing for my Oakland Athletics, I'm pretty okay with it because, well, he accepts his guilt, he continues to smash and I had a ton of fun watching those 2001 A's, as that was probably the best baseball team I've ever seen assembled. Sports shouldn't be a theatre for morals! It's spectacle and flight of fancy, it should be fucking fun. Gah. That's why I watch more and more and more basketball. That, and, well, the NBA is now back to always awesome highlights. This past week? Amazing. But, enough, I know. Cutting it off...right about...NOW! --RWK

Considerable linear extent in space #5: Watch all 61

I realize I'm late on this. It's so worth it to watch. What's funny to me is how far the pendulum continues to swing in favor of Kobe. As if everybody and their mom decided, "Aw, shucks, he's no rapist." Can't really blame them, though, when you're one of them. Especially watching a performance like this one. A couple of those step-through drives made me think just how much he would fuck you up in a game of 21, and then how much I just want to watch Bron and Kobe and D-Wade play 21, and then how much money Stern would make if he got them to do that. I guess that's why there's an All-Star Game or whatever but there's still 7 other dudes on the court. I'm talking real 21, with the you-miss-you-guard and only-3-FT's and behind-the-arc-is-2 rules. Who do you think would win? Wouldn't that be great TV? They would have to mic them, too, so we could hear them gab at each other and talk mess. Pay-per-view? How much would you pay? Or would you just hit justin.tv? --RWK

Encounter #125: Sit down, son.

Dear Dwyane,
You are real. You make me laff and cry. You make OJ sit down, like your son, son. You make me think, Wow, I will never do that. You remind me, Yep, I am a top 4 talent. You play hard.
All the best!
--RWK

Considerable linear extent in space #4: Look at that pass.

Skeets says "LeBron James wins '09 Slam Dunk contest." I say, Jesus, look at that pass. The play after the amazing left-side drive. --RWK

Encounter #119: Shirt off, hey.

When you cant sleep cuz you dream ugly hurtful thingz, this trifle makes life seem ok again. But it doesnt help the sleeping, really. It just makes you want to eat steak sandwiches and fries, to take your shirt off and to play ball in a sunny park. --RWK [via palms]

Considerable linear extent in space #2: The realness. No words necessary. Some words soon, I promise.

--RWK [via Fanhouse]

Considerable linear extent in space #1: Seeing it equals believing it over here.

No two ways about it: I'm on the Anthony Randolph bandwagon. I don't know how many people proceed and surround me, here, but I figure there's a few of us weighing down the hitch and unbalancing things. Especially among Warriors fans. Cuz things in Oakland don't look so great right now. All we've got to vibe on is promise. And we all know promises don't mean shit. But we hope in vain--always and forever. To come clean: I didn't watch Randolph at LSU. I got hyped during his summer league flailings. From the little I saw, it looks like he can handle and refuses to give up his dribble; plain refuses to give up the ball. But I didn't get the sense, yet, that he's a chucker. He just feels driving, I think. And he glides as much as he jangles through the lane. He makes Cap'n Jax look like a stop-motion G.I. Joe.

Of course, Monta won't be making (most) people look like slow motion for a cool minute. Which sucks. And Baron's gone. Which is bittersweet. But Buike did well the other day, and Fast Andy will, I'm sure, only grow with more time on the block. We'll see how Corey Maggette's implacable will to drive meshes with Randolph and Monta in the new year, but, for now, it kinda makes sense to let a lot of offense go through him. With Monta out, Corey is easily the most talented and skilled offensive player who will see playing time. I'm ignoring Al Harrington because, well, as much as I love Donatello, he can't Superman his way to 20 and 10 with bad selection on 3 pointers only (and not using his body in the paint) and I don't see Nellie (or any fellow players, for that matter) letting the ball run through Al down low. I'm also ignoring defense, because, well, you know why. It's a weird roster. I've got my faves, of course, as highlighted by this column's patron saint (thank you, Jay Bilas) and the other young and lanky, B-Rite, who should only get/be better. But if I'm going to write about our W-men in each column, I'll try to find something more interesting to say beyond "so-and-so did so-what" as this progresses.

Because, patron saint or no, I do not want this to be a strict team-based journal. It will follow what I happen to watch, of course, but I trust TNT and TBS and ESPN and ABC will only let me watch so much. In fact, I don't even have cable. So unless I start hitting Triple Rock a lot, my main avenue of basketball intake will be Sunday double headers and internet highlights--which, of course, means I can write about what other people are writing about. But that can be boring, too. Here's what I'm going to try to do:

1. Follow a few personal obsessions, which are by no means "original" or even "particular to me," like Anthony Randolph, Kobe's legs (pace Tex), Mike Beasley's goof town lifestyle, Rudy Fernandez vs Greg Oden in ROY race (at least on the Blazers), how the Blazers should march through the world heads held high, Kevin Durant's eventual and terrible and hug-him-please cries on the inside under his (we hope) growing ferocity in the fourth, hating the WNBA, hating the Celtics but loving Bill "Sky" Walker, Houston getting big with Ron Ron up front and a vegan at the point, A.I., Melo, J.R. Smith, Josh Smith, Gay-Mayo, the Spurs devolving, the new Pistons, D'antoni running the Animal Apple in 7 sex or less, Chicago's all-backcourt starting five, Joe Alexander slaying the midwest AZN broads (they got those, right?) Yi left behind all clamoring, Yi making jokes with Vince about foolin'em all, LeBron stomping, Caron slicing, D-Wade getting anywhere at any moment to put up any shot possible ignoring the Matrix of possibilities behind him, Larry Brown shackling another flier in GW, Rick Carlisle making the Mavs that much more intolerable, somebody (please, somebody) punching Carlos Boozer's ugly fucking face, Kevin Love's chin strap and Mike Miller's grease-locks, more Beno Udrih push-offs, more Julian Wright--period--and Danny Granger, too, the Turkish Delight's inevitable backslide, Brand getting big with Thaddeus, Amare bouncing past everybody and everything when Shaq rides the bench and Nash tires for good, Baron looking to pass all street a lot more, Chris Bosh getting a hair cut or make over or something.

2. Make some jokes.

3. Invite some dialogue. Foreal: I don't know shit. I just like the game, and the league. As with anything I write, it's chiefly for me, but, since people may read this, well, why don't we chop it up a bit?

4. Not poach too too much, although some will be unavoidable--especially at the start--as I find my feet with this thing.

5.i. Ask "What is basketball?" in a different way each time out.
5.ii. For instance, this time I'm trying to show that it's stupid to plan (or even hope) for much when it comes to something (cough, life) with this many variables. You just gotta enjoy this flux of fun.
5.iii. Keep an eye to seriousness within the nonserious discourse of a goofy blog like this one, which may manifest itself in stuff like, yes, naming life a "flux of fun", thereby invoking philosophical premises I find internal but not integral to my understanding of the game and its place as a social function--on the court, for the fans, in pick up, in relation to rap, as ritual, as theatre, as platform for what's bigger.

Please, tell me things. --RWK

What Community? #56: Portland getting big already.

Two givens: (1) Pre-season (2) vs Kings.
Two undeniables: (1) Rudy got game (2) Oden will be fine
One no duh enthusiasm: Blazers will be great to watch.
--RWK [via TSB/BS]

What Community? #48: Lots of high pick and roll plays, lots of dunks, lots of boards.

Chris Mullin paid Andris Biedrins. Same contract length as Monta means the W-men have a core. A very young core. Young and developing, happy to play together, all kinds of superlatives can be thrown at these two. I'm still not convinced Monta will be a true point, nor if that will totally work for Nellball, but I do like how he feeds Fast Andy. And Fast Andy can grab a lot of boards if he's out there on the floor more than 27.4mpg. If he's allowed to start all 82 (providing he stays healthy, of course), and he's allowed to play more than 30 minutes per, then Fast Andy should totally be among the league leaders in rebounding, proving a lot of critics wrong that the W-men have no inside presence. Maybe. I mean, there's B-Rite, too, to gobble some minutes along with Mr Energy, Ronny Turiaf. I'm still waiting to see how this group coheres, or not, so I'll keep saying that this is the oddest group assembled in the NBA right now. They'll undoubtedly be an offensive force, and a team to watch, but I don't know if they'll make the field of eight. It just doesn't seem possible. It does seem possible, though, that they can continue to develop their pair of long, rangy types while losing more games than they'd like this season. I'm guessing B-Rite will develop with more of a defensive mindset than Randolph so they can probably play off Fast Andy in cool, different styles depending on the game and the situation. For instance: I bet Randolph sees more minutes against a team like the Hornets and B-Rite sees more minutes against a team like the Lakers (to pick from the top). Either way they've got an intriguing premise for a real nail-biter season, and a few seasons to come.

A late aside: I'm thinking of writing a weekly basketball column next season. Or, simply, a series with numbers. I don't know what form it will take, but my inclination is to deviate from this strong Warriors bias and look across the league like those prototypical liberated fans at joints like Free Darko and Ball Don't Lie and Hardwood Paroxysm. Any ideas for titles for this series? Right now I've got these terrible ideas:
--Fires Pale, Ballers Fly
--The Week in the NBA
--Ry's bball eyes
--B-Rite's pinky
--I don't know shit
--24 is after 23
--Numbers don't mean shit, or, Fuck numbers
--Dunks and blocks and dimes
--Steve Nash is old
--No more guns

Encounter #100: 6 years, 66 million.

Read about it here if you want. The other news is they matched Kalenna's offer from the Clippers. But, hear now: know that those are the same numbers that the A's gave Eric Chavez. I hate that my mind went directly there. But, hell, it did. Otherwise: sweet. Dude is fast. And, you know, young and shit. We'll see how he adjusts to this whole point guard thing next year. My prediction: no better than 6(maybe 6.5)apg for the season. But he'll still score 20ppg. And, being fast, he'll always be better than the ever-loathed Jamal Crawford because he does seem to like to pass and play with other people despite all his slashing and lane killing and ankle breaking and hang time scoring prowess/tendencies. As the roster is shaping up, the W-men seem like a mid-level team in the conference with no defense, really, and a lot of potential for balls out offense. They may not make the playoffs (hell, odds are squarely against it at this point) but they'll probably become everybody's favorite new Suns replacement. And, who knows, maybe they'll continue their bonding magic and skate into that 8th seed again on sheer enthusiasm. (I'll try not to get my hopes up now, nearly three months before the season starts. Shit, somebody can always get hurt. *knock knock*) How's this for a prediction? Anthony Randolph will be third in ROY voting. (Nah, he can't stop my boy, B-easy, from killing the field with smiles and stomps through the paint. Plus, you know, that Oden guy will be playing.) That projection may be a little high given he'll most likely be coming off the bench, but I just like his fierceness and his skill set that much. I'm guessing Nellie will, too. Can't wait for the first fast break he runs with Monta. Should be something to look forward to for a while to come. --RWK [video via FTB]

Encounter #98: OJ good from 69 feet.

Via True Hoop's rather pointless but marginally fun Summer League: Midway Point Awards. A quote, too:

"I thought it wasn't going to make it to the rim," Mayo said. "I was surprised. After practices recently, we have been practicing half-court shots. I made a few there."

I'm thinking the Grizzlies will be a lot of fun to watch next season. Especially if they come to their senses and spend their cap money on Josh Smith. --RWK

What Community? #44: That was quick.

I guess Baron sitting court side with pal Adam Sandler was not just a marketing ploy for that Zohan thing. I guess it really was foreshadowing. Baron's going home to play ball in Los Angeles. The deal came so quick it has me wondering if Baron's been hiding his plans for a while. It would make sense, I suppose, since he's been trying to play chess with the Warriors. Anyways, it's not even official yet; just a verbal agreement. This whole side of sports is just kind of annoying, and I wish I wouldn't pay this much attention, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't care. So: I'll probably pay closer attention to the next phase of Baron's career, as tinselstar PG on the other LA team, because he played such an important role in the past two years of serious Warriors resurgence. And because I just like the guy. He seems to be enjoying life. You see pictures of Jordan out and about, playing pool with cigars in the corner of his mouth, but he never seemed to be having much fun on the court. It was simply a test of will. Baron's out there smiling all the time. Just last week he played in Steve Nash's soccer game wearing a hat and Reebok Pumps. And why shouldn't he smile? It's a good life.

But back to basketball for a minute. The Warriors have made an offer to Elton Brand. I don't think this makes much sense, at least in terms of on-court needs. With Baron gone, they should devote all their resources to Monta and Fast Andy first. Then look around for a guard, like Kirk Hinrich or Luke Ridnour. They need somebody to play point; they have a glut of forwards to develop; Brand would sell tickets but not necessarily improve the team long term. Besides, he wants to remain a Clipper. Further, the Warriors should realize that they playoffs aren't a realistic goal this year without some kind of star wattage replacement (which won't happen with the Wizards offering Gil a near-max contract).

At least on paper, at least right now, the Warriors are a weird team: all long limbs and implacable desire to shoot, not drive, except for Monta. With the Blazers looking like they'll take over from the Spurs as the next dynasty, as well as the possible re-tooling of Denver (which would undoubtedly make them more cohesive, and better), not to mention the skill level of the Kings, and (oh yeah) the new and improved (already) Clippers, the final spot in the playoff field of eight will be hard won for whatever team pushes hardest. Don Nelson's team are renowned for pushing the break hard and fast but that continual lack of defense will catch up with them someday. Especially with a team full of young dudes known for their scoring, not defending. (Altho, to be fair, Fast Andy does a pretty good job and B-Rite can block shots with his pinky.) That's why next year all I'm hoping for (as of right now; we'll see how the summer develops) is a fearsome fast break, led by Monta and Anthony Randolph (I want to think of a nickname on my own but the only one that comes to mind is Rudolph, as in the red-nosed dude, cuz AR (wince) flies through the lane pretty well), with Cap'n Jax trailing at the 3-point line, that leads to a bunch of highlights and points off turnovers. Maybe if the W-Men stay real quick they can win more games than they're supposed to; but I still don't think they'll be enjoying the playoff glory again any time soon. Oh well. I just hope the team stays positive. With Baron gone, taking his infectious good nature with him, it might be hard. But people forget that Cap'n Jax is usually smiling, too. Like when he hit that game winner in LA late last season (in the first of a home-and-home) and cheesed all the way to commercial break.

At least we can say thanks to Baron for those highlights we did get to enjoy these past two years. And wish him continued good luck in the seasons to come. He probably needs the luck, right? That, or he needs to stretch a lot more. --RWK

What Community? #43: Chris Mullen willing to forgo Monta.

Bill, aka Pager Code, has been dreaming of this return since the playoffs started. Well, it's not set in stone -- it's just an offer right now -- but it looks like Chris Mullen is ready to risk losing Monta, or at least making him a lesser cog, for the opportunity to right the wrong of letting Gil go to the Wiz in the first place. Granted, they didn't have the cash to match the Wiz's offer, and they're not allowed to give Gil the six years the Wiz are allowed to offer, and the Warriors don't have his boy, Antawn, anymore (locked up real quick by Grunfeld: 4yr/$50m), and they may lose Fast Andy on top of Monta, but *sheeeeeeit* they've got to be an attractive option right? Hmn. Seems like Gil wants to stay in DC anyways, and will look to leverage this interest into that real deal max contract he wants.

Me? I think he'd be a lot of fun to root for again, sure. But we've got version 2.0 in Monta, who may yet develop that 3-ball, and who is not coming off serious knee injuries, and who is a mere 22 to Gil's 26, who can get his shot from anywhere (it seems) like Gil, who is faster than a speeding bullet, who...you get the picture: he's a great building block and possible All-Star. But, Monta hasn't dropped 60 on anybody. Nor has he hit game winners from 30 feet in back to back games. Nor has he averaged 30ppg. Nor is he a blogger extraordinaire. Of course, this presupposes it's an either/or kinda deal. And, of course, it is: can you really see the two of them getting paid their worth and playing well together on the Warriors? Well, I guess it could happen; and it'd be beautiful, probably. But I just don't see it. I think it's a fine dream, but improbable. Kinda like that last score dream all those robbers in cops-and-robbers movies propose but never follow through on. --RWK [via Sporting Blog]

What Community? #42: The Redeem Team.

First off: who said what about Dwight Howard? And why is Michael Redd the only one grossed out? Is D-Wade hiding? Next: I think they'll get the gold. Even without much interior size. I don't know what the "experts" are talking about: there's plenty of shooters out there. Melo and Kobe from the wings? Redd off the bench? Deron has a beard now? Wait: Deron has a beard now. He really is the next best thing after, okay he's better than, Baron. They're one consonant sound away as it is. (Also, D's look like B's only bigger.) Anyways: glad they're having a good time. The new era of the NBA starts this summer. --RWK