Wednesday, June 25, 2008

What Community? #37: The Yankees' grooming rules.

kill somebody
where's the for men dye
When Jason Giambi left so many Oakland Athletics fans crying there was a lot of fake news about how he'd have to clean up his look from everybody's nightmare of a biker (sleeveless t's showing off scary tats, long greasy hair in the face, a goatee for days) into one of the shrewd elite Steinbrenner demands his players transform into overnight. A similar discussion popped up about Johnny Damon's idiotic caveman look going away when he turned traitor to his beloved Sawks fans. Well, now they both live and work in New York and classy they have become. Or, maybe just Johnny Damon; at least he looks clean. Giambi, on the other hand, has taken a new route back to crazy. If you remember Don Mattingly (or see him on the bench), you know that the organization tolerates mustaches. Seems like Giambi bought into that. But what began as a kind of faint, vaguely funny look is now a scary, outright insane lifestyle choice. For all we know he could be riding that Harley upstate after games to blow off steam -- and murder happy, young couples necking on lovers lanes all over the NorthEast. Or, you know, he could simply be using the look to intimidate pitchers. Look at that on-air stat: since growing the 'stache, he's been on fire. Don't try to tell me his facial hair hasn't gotten into the heads of hurlers the country over. I know he's the best post-roids player ever but, sheesh, this is just another advantage he's using right in plain sight, an advantage condoned by the league and his team without comment, an advantage I'm surprised hasn't caught on across MLB. Just wait. By the next decade, everybody will be wearing a stache. Then it'll be the clean cut guys who look crazy -- and, of course, girly. --RWK

[Pic 1 is from June 24th, Pic 2 is from May 28th. There's talk that he's gone and died the stache for the ultimate in crazy.]

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