Encounter #104: This is fandom. Or something. (Mostly? A waste of time.)

Remember when Nicole Richie was kinda fat? Yeah, I forgot about it, too. It's a laugh. She's a weirdo, all skinny now, and apparently pregnant again (because we want to turn this into a celeb gossip site, clearly), despite not looking like she can support her own weight, much less the life of yet another parasitic embryo; oops, I mean baby. In any case, through the power of internets, I found this awkward, stupid video -- from when I don't know, for what reason I don't know -- that gets cut short by Tool Type 1A just when things start to get interesting. First reaction? I dig how she just says what a lot girls (and some guys) at sporting events are thinking: these guys are primal, buff, macho meat on next to full bodily display. This isn't beach volleyball, of course, nor swimming, but there's plenty of guns (and calves? collar bones? what's the focal point?) to relish. Plus, you know, ballers are tall, with big feet. Makes sense why she'd marry (and spawn twice with) a lame white wannabe punk rock douche with no neck, right? All kinds of different ideas of funny and gross and right-on apply. --RWK