Considerable linear extent in space #7: Not exactly

How low is that hoop? Woody is not long, but very white. Somehow he lays a brown lady in this movie. And somehow, through the magic of movies, he jumps. I will never dunk and I'm okay with that. --RWK [via]

Considerable linear extent in space #6: I like number four

I hate to do this to you, and turn this failed attempt at a column into a Kobe highlight reel all the time, but well, here's some more amazing: via BDL, the top ten Kobe plays so far in the 08-09 season. Number four came in that 61-point game, and it was my favorite move of the night. It remains my favorite of all the feats here. It's just smart. And slick. Those 360s and behind the backs are pretty dope, too, tho... --RWK

Considerable linear extent in space #5: Watch all 61

I realize I'm late on this. It's so worth it to watch. What's funny to me is how far the pendulum continues to swing in favor of Kobe. As if everybody and their mom decided, "Aw, shucks, he's no rapist." Can't really blame them, though, when you're one of them. Especially watching a performance like this one. A couple of those step-through drives made me think just how much he would fuck you up in a game of 21, and then how much I just want to watch Bron and Kobe and D-Wade play 21, and then how much money Stern would make if he got them to do that. I guess that's why there's an All-Star Game or whatever but there's still 7 other dudes on the court. I'm talking real 21, with the you-miss-you-guard and only-3-FT's and behind-the-arc-is-2 rules. Who do you think would win? Wouldn't that be great TV? They would have to mic them, too, so we could hear them gab at each other and talk mess. Pay-per-view? How much would you pay? Or would you just hit justin.tv? --RWK

Considerable linear extent in space #4: Look at that pass.

Skeets says "LeBron James wins '09 Slam Dunk contest." I say, Jesus, look at that pass. The play after the amazing left-side drive. --RWK

Genius Marketing #38: Chalk it out. Considerable linear extent in space #3

Those W+K folks do know what's up. This thing points to so many (ephemeral) cultural signposts that it's hard not to just vibe and digg it when all that white stuff starts flying. It's also a joke, right? Brush the dirt off yo shoulder Nikes? Weezy in Portland cheering Bron against the Blazers? Blazers? Wayne? The ad copy on the youtube page is pretty hilarious, too: "The pre-game ritual of LeBron has become a symbol of the ultimate Just Do It moment." Right, cuz throwing garbage into the air is, like, such a bigger thing than a free-throw line dunk with a tongue wagging in the wind. The best thing about the ad, though, is something Jordan never quite pulled off: I believe Bron's smile. Anybody who watched that Road to Redemption crap (hell, I got sucked in about a minute into it) knows that The King is always joking, always talking, always acting a fool, like always; he just won't quit. Except when he thinks shit gets real. The great thing about that Nov 5th clip is that he's still kinda joking around while being kinda serious and kinda smart; I mean, dude is tired post game and he's trying to act cool about the whole exciting times, but you can see the giddy. I digg how much he actually lets the public see. He keeps enough privacy that his on-display antics are enough to build a picture around. That, and, well, he's god-ish on the court. Did you see this shit?

He's got CLEIS, too, but his is--his is just, or it's more, fuck, well--LBJ is kind of gross he's so good. We talkin title year?

Considerable linear extent in space #2: The realness. No words necessary. Some words soon, I promise.

--RWK [via Fanhouse]

Considerable linear extent in space #1: Seeing it equals believing it over here.

No two ways about it: I'm on the Anthony Randolph bandwagon. I don't know how many people proceed and surround me, here, but I figure there's a few of us weighing down the hitch and unbalancing things. Especially among Warriors fans. Cuz things in Oakland don't look so great right now. All we've got to vibe on is promise. And we all know promises don't mean shit. But we hope in vain--always and forever. To come clean: I didn't watch Randolph at LSU. I got hyped during his summer league flailings. From the little I saw, it looks like he can handle and refuses to give up his dribble; plain refuses to give up the ball. But I didn't get the sense, yet, that he's a chucker. He just feels driving, I think. And he glides as much as he jangles through the lane. He makes Cap'n Jax look like a stop-motion G.I. Joe.

Of course, Monta won't be making (most) people look like slow motion for a cool minute. Which sucks. And Baron's gone. Which is bittersweet. But Buike did well the other day, and Fast Andy will, I'm sure, only grow with more time on the block. We'll see how Corey Maggette's implacable will to drive meshes with Randolph and Monta in the new year, but, for now, it kinda makes sense to let a lot of offense go through him. With Monta out, Corey is easily the most talented and skilled offensive player who will see playing time. I'm ignoring Al Harrington because, well, as much as I love Donatello, he can't Superman his way to 20 and 10 with bad selection on 3 pointers only (and not using his body in the paint) and I don't see Nellie (or any fellow players, for that matter) letting the ball run through Al down low. I'm also ignoring defense, because, well, you know why. It's a weird roster. I've got my faves, of course, as highlighted by this column's patron saint (thank you, Jay Bilas) and the other young and lanky, B-Rite, who should only get/be better. But if I'm going to write about our W-men in each column, I'll try to find something more interesting to say beyond "so-and-so did so-what" as this progresses.

Because, patron saint or no, I do not want this to be a strict team-based journal. It will follow what I happen to watch, of course, but I trust TNT and TBS and ESPN and ABC will only let me watch so much. In fact, I don't even have cable. So unless I start hitting Triple Rock a lot, my main avenue of basketball intake will be Sunday double headers and internet highlights--which, of course, means I can write about what other people are writing about. But that can be boring, too. Here's what I'm going to try to do:

1. Follow a few personal obsessions, which are by no means "original" or even "particular to me," like Anthony Randolph, Kobe's legs (pace Tex), Mike Beasley's goof town lifestyle, Rudy Fernandez vs Greg Oden in ROY race (at least on the Blazers), how the Blazers should march through the world heads held high, Kevin Durant's eventual and terrible and hug-him-please cries on the inside under his (we hope) growing ferocity in the fourth, hating the WNBA, hating the Celtics but loving Bill "Sky" Walker, Houston getting big with Ron Ron up front and a vegan at the point, A.I., Melo, J.R. Smith, Josh Smith, Gay-Mayo, the Spurs devolving, the new Pistons, D'antoni running the Animal Apple in 7 sex or less, Chicago's all-backcourt starting five, Joe Alexander slaying the midwest AZN broads (they got those, right?) Yi left behind all clamoring, Yi making jokes with Vince about foolin'em all, LeBron stomping, Caron slicing, D-Wade getting anywhere at any moment to put up any shot possible ignoring the Matrix of possibilities behind him, Larry Brown shackling another flier in GW, Rick Carlisle making the Mavs that much more intolerable, somebody (please, somebody) punching Carlos Boozer's ugly fucking face, Kevin Love's chin strap and Mike Miller's grease-locks, more Beno Udrih push-offs, more Julian Wright--period--and Danny Granger, too, the Turkish Delight's inevitable backslide, Brand getting big with Thaddeus, Amare bouncing past everybody and everything when Shaq rides the bench and Nash tires for good, Baron looking to pass all street a lot more, Chris Bosh getting a hair cut or make over or something.

2. Make some jokes.

3. Invite some dialogue. Foreal: I don't know shit. I just like the game, and the league. As with anything I write, it's chiefly for me, but, since people may read this, well, why don't we chop it up a bit?

4. Not poach too too much, although some will be unavoidable--especially at the start--as I find my feet with this thing.

5.i. Ask "What is basketball?" in a different way each time out.
5.ii. For instance, this time I'm trying to show that it's stupid to plan (or even hope) for much when it comes to something (cough, life) with this many variables. You just gotta enjoy this flux of fun.
5.iii. Keep an eye to seriousness within the nonserious discourse of a goofy blog like this one, which may manifest itself in stuff like, yes, naming life a "flux of fun", thereby invoking philosophical premises I find internal but not integral to my understanding of the game and its place as a social function--on the court, for the fans, in pick up, in relation to rap, as ritual, as theatre, as platform for what's bigger.

Please, tell me things. --RWK