What the fuck is this? I know Kanye just guested on an "Everybody Nose" remix but doesn't he know he can't beat The Neptunes (or Count and Sinden) at their own game? Doesn't he know he got bigger than big for sampling soul? I'm sick of this fad crap. Make something that might last. And this isn't even getting to the verses Jay offers. He was Mims before Mims popped up but, still, for somebody as respected as he is -- as a rapper with smarts and style -- this is flat, phoned-in, smug. You're cool cuz you hate the pleebs? It's devolved to that? Really? Fuck that mess. But it'll probably make money, just cuz it can. As he says, "It's too easy..." Feeling yourself is one thing but this kind of under-the-covers fooling is boring and dumb. And hateful. --RWK
[Pic is from a movie about paranoid solipsism, and consequent devolution. No spuds here. Just ugly. And, by the way, the movie is, like, a billion times better than this song.]
In the space of 17 years (pix from 1990, 2003, 2007), Dubai has become not just significantly developed but developed to the point of sci-fi parody. Follow this link to see more of the crazy stuff already built and planned to be built. I feel like I have to research this now. And possibly go there. There should be some kind of document besides still photographs. I don't want to say any more before I know more. But, shit. This is like Blade Runner with less fires and androids. Except, of course, there are plans for automated systems galore, too, like a subway system larger than NYC's MTA all run by machines. Good luck not getting killed by a train that won't stop because you've got your stupid foot caught in a door. Also: Dubailand? All kinds of blasphemy. Who the fuck live there? Who the fuck will move there? To work at Dubailand? Understatement: This is wild. --RWK
Inspired by MOMI's "Making The Wire" week, I thought I'd go ahead and post mp3s of the five different versions of "Way Down in the Hole" used for each of the five different seasons' opening credits. Unfortunately, I didn't find mp3s of all five. However: I did find my two favorites, from the first two seasons, by The Blind Boys of Alabama and Tom Waits. And, in lieu of mp3s, I found youtube clips of each season's credits, sans narration by Andrew Dignan (which you can check out every day this week at MOMI's website). I've said elsewhere that I thought the series picked up steam as it went along through its first four seasons, only to kinda-sorta falter under its own ambitions in its final, fifth season, so I don't need to dive into that again. But it's worth noting, I think, how each version constitutes my relationship to each season, beginning with Steve Earle's cover, for that fifth season, that plays the harshest (and whitest), although kinda groovy, which added to my distaste for that season's misfires (and occasional bits of brilliance). By contrast, Tom Waits' elegiac original fits the mood of the docks really well: all those years of toil for nothing. The Neville Brothers' jazzy third season opener makes a nice compliment to the Blind Boys, which makes me think of the dueling East and West sides of B'more starting to come together, or at the least how they interact, starting with Stringer's negotiations in that season. DoMaJe had the honor to grace the show's greatest chapter, the fourth, and their plaintive march through varying genres, with time for odd samples and a nasty guitar solo and a grimey in-the-round vamp, speaks to the corner boys' close-knit texture, riffing on one another, trading insults and love equally. But, lemme get out of the way already. I'll leave the comments from here on out to Mssrs Dignan, Seitz and Lee. --RWK
TWO MINUTES LATER UPDATE: Teaser trailer has been taken down. Such a tease. I was right.
Cuz it's bound to be everywhere, talked about my everyone, and cuz Josh Brolin is tight. Also, Jeffrey Wright and Richard Dreyfuss. I still hope the film itself is parody and not earnest, despite this marketing ploy. At that rate I may laugh. Otherwise...it'll just be a pain, and boring. --RWK
First we have Shane Victorinio inventing a new turn of phrase that makes my brain fart a big "Whu?" Or: "Wait, wait, wait. Wait a second. You don't ask the questions? Or you won't tolerate the questions? Huh?" If this catches on with the likes of Stuart Scott and Neil Everett I'll definitely get Ed Abbey and kill my TV (but not my precious internet).
Next we have Orel Hershisher's Joker impression. Since The Sports Hernia Blog had me LOL'ing (it's one of those dreary days), I'll just copy what they've got to go along with these pictures that I've stolen:
ESPN's Sunday Night Baseball was already off the charts tonight with their new 'bathroom stall' camera feature, but the stunning presence of a completely insane Orel Hershiser, proud new owner of the greatest Joker portrayal to date, simply stole the show.
Did John Miller forget to wear pants? Did Steve Phillips suddenly go back to his part-in-the-middle look when the camera panned away? Did Elaine give him the Uncle Leo treatment and paint angry eyebrows on his face? Whatever it is, this normally mild-mannered individual wants to kick the living shit out of everyone.
At this point Hershiser has the entire nation mentally crippled in a highly uncomfortable and paranoid state, yet John Miller thinks the guy is an absolute ray of light, like he's making god damn balloon animals and handing out cotton fuckin' candy.
What happened to this dude? If an alien tears out of his stomach and hops on Miller's head to act as an unflattering toupee, we won't exactly be surprised.
Chris Mullin paid Andris Biedrins. Same contract length as Monta means the W-men have a core. A very young core. Young and developing, happy to play together, all kinds of superlatives can be thrown at these two. I'm still not convinced Monta will be a true point, nor if that will totally work for Nellball, but I do like how he feeds Fast Andy. And Fast Andy can grab a lot of boards if he's out there on the floor more than 27.4mpg. If he's allowed to start all 82 (providing he stays healthy, of course), and he's allowed to play more than 30 minutes per, then Fast Andy should totally be among the league leaders in rebounding, proving a lot of critics wrong that the W-men have no inside presence. Maybe. I mean, there's B-Rite, too, to gobble some minutes along with Mr Energy, Ronny Turiaf. I'm still waiting to see how this group coheres, or not, so I'll keep saying that this is the oddest group assembled in the NBA right now. They'll undoubtedly be an offensive force, and a team to watch, but I don't know if they'll make the field of eight. It just doesn't seem possible. It does seem possible, though, that they can continue to develop their pair of long, rangy types while losing more games than they'd like this season. I'm guessing B-Rite will develop with more of a defensive mindset than Randolph so they can probably play off Fast Andy in cool, different styles depending on the game and the situation. For instance: I bet Randolph sees more minutes against a team like the Hornets and B-Rite sees more minutes against a team like the Lakers (to pick from the top). Either way they've got an intriguing premise for a real nail-biter season, and a few seasons to come.
A late aside: I'm thinking of writing a weekly basketball column next season. Or, simply, a series with numbers. I don't know what form it will take, but my inclination is to deviate from this strong Warriors bias and look across the league like those prototypical liberated fans at joints like Free Darko and Ball Don't Lie and Hardwood Paroxysm. Any ideas for titles for this series? Right now I've got these terrible ideas: --Fires Pale, Ballers Fly --The Week in the NBA --Ry's bball eyes --B-Rite's pinky --I don't know shit --24 is after 23 --Numbers don't mean shit, or, Fuck numbers --Dunks and blocks and dimes --Steve Nash is old --No more guns
Read about it here if you want. The other news is they matched Kalenna's offer from the Clippers. But, hear now: know that those are the same numbers that the A's gave Eric Chavez. I hate that my mind went directly there. But, hell, it did. Otherwise: sweet. Dude is fast. And, you know, young and shit. We'll see how he adjusts to this whole point guard thing next year. My prediction: no better than 6(maybe 6.5)apg for the season. But he'll still score 20ppg. And, being fast, he'll always be better than the ever-loathed Jamal Crawford because he does seem to like to pass and play with other people despite all his slashing and lane killing and ankle breaking and hang time scoring prowess/tendencies. As the roster is shaping up, the W-men seem like a mid-level team in the conference with no defense, really, and a lot of potential for balls out offense. They may not make the playoffs (hell, odds are squarely against it at this point) but they'll probably become everybody's favorite new Suns replacement. And, who knows, maybe they'll continue their bonding magic and skate into that 8th seed again on sheer enthusiasm. (I'll try not to get my hopes up now, nearly three months before the season starts. Shit, somebody can always get hurt. *knock knock*) How's this for a prediction? Anthony Randolph will be third in ROY voting. (Nah, he can't stop my boy, B-easy, from killing the field with smiles and stomps through the paint. Plus, you know, that Oden guy will be playing.) That projection may be a little high given he'll most likely be coming off the bench, but I just like his fierceness and his skill set that much. I'm guessing Nellie will, too. Can't wait for the first fast break he runs with Monta. Should be something to look forward to for a while to come. --RWK [video via FTB]
The odd Olympic marketing campaigns begin with this animated ditty from Coke pitting LeBron, American King, against Yao, Chinese Giant, in a fantastical cage match that makes little sense. And then they turn into the real dudes and speak each other's language. All because they both love Coke; and money. --RWK [via BDL]
"I thought it wasn't going to make it to the rim," Mayo said. "I was surprised. After practices recently, we have been practicing half-court shots. I made a few there."
I'm thinking the Grizzlies will be a lot of fun to watch next season. Especially if they come to their senses and spend their cap money on Josh Smith. --RWK
No kidding, idiot. You got took -- HARD. I know he was once an Oakland A, a founding Bash Brother. But he's also a gigantic fool with no class and less brains. Not that I think Jack Cust is any better. But Cust didn't grab some limelight for an opportunistic buck (and change the image of baseball in the process); all Cust did was fall down and strike out a lot. --RWK
I realize I'm slow to catch on, but, well, this thing really is pretty cool. I've gone ahead and attached a widget to our sidebar, too, so I can promote things I dig. The picture above is from a quick search for reader. A lot of people seem to take stills of their readers... I do not plan on it. I plan on reading it. One of the coolest things so far is catching up with posts I missed over the past while of not being religious about this blogosphere. Not that I'm trying to dive back in and spend all too much time online again, but, well, it's kinda fun. If you care, which I doubt, you can read my selected, shared items here instead of scrolling down. --RWK
Yup: it's obnoxious. But the flicker effects and paint (sweat?) sprays are impressive. As is the unflagging commitment to un-pop from this incarnation of the Neptunes. --RWK [via NahRight]
I feel like Cuy should write his own essay about the odd appeal of Weezy but for now I just want to say I'm mostly fascinated by how plain weird a figure he has become. While, at the same time, not growing any taller. Only his muscles and ego and rep seem to get bigger (if not balloon). And he barely rhymes. Oh, and, yea, this is a terrible video. (An appropriately odd remix by Nadastrom can be found here.) --RWK
Jelena Jankovic decided to change her underoos courtside at the French Open. This is old news, I guess, but still hilarious. Also hilarious: somebody will find this titillating. Or maybe that's just creepy and terrible. In any event, she's laughing about it. So I'll laugh with her, not at her, even though, well, you know: a joke about at her. --RWK [via With Leather]
Stolen from Zach's absurdly on point video-collection-essay. I'd planned something similar but my tastes aren't like his so we'll see where I go from this big beginning, and how our ideas of America may differ. In any event: Food! Beer! Red, White and Blue!
I guess Baron sitting court side with pal Adam Sandler was not just a marketing ploy for that Zohan thing. I guess it really was foreshadowing. Baron's going home to play ball in Los Angeles. The deal came so quick it has me wondering if Baron's been hiding his plans for a while. It would make sense, I suppose, since he's been trying to play chess with the Warriors. Anyways, it's not even official yet; just a verbal agreement. This whole side of sports is just kind of annoying, and I wish I wouldn't pay this much attention, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't care. So: I'll probably pay closer attention to the next phase of Baron's career, as tinselstar PG on the other LA team, because he played such an important role in the past two years of serious Warriors resurgence. And because I just like the guy. He seems to be enjoying life. You see pictures of Jordan out and about, playing pool with cigars in the corner of his mouth, but he never seemed to be having much fun on the court. It was simply a test of will. Baron's out there smiling all the time. Just last week he played in Steve Nash's soccer game wearing a hat and Reebok Pumps. And why shouldn't he smile? It's a good life.
But back to basketball for a minute. The Warriors have made an offer to Elton Brand. I don't think this makes much sense, at least in terms of on-court needs. With Baron gone, they should devote all their resources to Monta and Fast Andy first. Then look around for a guard, like Kirk Hinrich or Luke Ridnour. They need somebody to play point; they have a glut of forwards to develop; Brand would sell tickets but not necessarily improve the team long term. Besides, he wants to remain a Clipper. Further, the Warriors should realize that they playoffs aren't a realistic goal this year without some kind of star wattage replacement (which won't happen with the Wizards offering Gil a near-max contract).
At least on paper, at least right now, the Warriors are a weird team: all long limbs and implacable desire to shoot, not drive, except for Monta. With the Blazers looking like they'll take over from the Spurs as the next dynasty, as well as the possible re-tooling of Denver (which would undoubtedly make them more cohesive, and better), not to mention the skill level of the Kings, and (oh yeah) the new and improved (already) Clippers, the final spot in the playoff field of eight will be hard won for whatever team pushes hardest. Don Nelson's team are renowned for pushing the break hard and fast but that continual lack of defense will catch up with them someday. Especially with a team full of young dudes known for their scoring, not defending. (Altho, to be fair, Fast Andy does a pretty good job and B-Rite can block shots with his pinky.) That's why next year all I'm hoping for (as of right now; we'll see how the summer develops) is a fearsome fast break, led by Monta and Anthony Randolph (I want to think of a nickname on my own but the only one that comes to mind is Rudolph, as in the red-nosed dude, cuz AR (wince) flies through the lane pretty well), with Cap'n Jax trailing at the 3-point line, that leads to a bunch of highlights and points off turnovers. Maybe if the W-Men stay real quick they can win more games than they're supposed to; but I still don't think they'll be enjoying the playoff glory again any time soon. Oh well. I just hope the team stays positive. With Baron gone, taking his infectious good nature with him, it might be hard. But people forget that Cap'n Jax is usually smiling, too. Like when he hit that game winner in LA late last season (in the first of a home-and-home) and cheesed all the way to commercial break.
At least we can say thanks to Baron for those highlights we did get to enjoy these past two years. And wish him continued good luck in the seasons to come. He probably needs the luck, right? That, or he needs to stretch a lot more. --RWK
With millions of engagement rings created every year, finding the perfect one for her can be tiresome. So, instead, customize your own, and make it personal.
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